If I stay by your side, we will make it through the night. [Helga]

A light freezing wind was going over the bay. Making the water ripple, making it moves in patterns men could not follow. How lovely it was to see, knowing it would be one of the last times that the water would be moving. For soon, so very soon it would freeze. Ice would cover the land. His grey eyes stared over the water as he sat down on the ground. Playing with some of the dry dying grass between his fingers. Before he let out a light laugh. Oh how he hated it when the water froze, his boats would not be able to sail out. I would be harder to build his boats too, as the wood could crack from the cold if he didn’t choose the right trees. Though of course that would not stop him. He wouldn’t be Floki if he couldn’t build boats even in winter and Björn ironside was depending on him. The boat was almost finished. What a beauty she was, the best boat he ever had built. Even better than the one he had made for his dear friend Ragnar. His eyes narrowed a bit at the thought of Ragnar. His dear Ragnar who had disappeared and was likely never to return. It felt as if that man had taken a piece of him with him. Just like he had lost a piece of himself when he lost his daughter. He took a breath before he slowly got up and made his way down the bay. Lucky he was to still have his sweet dear Helga. Knowing she would never leave him. He did not deserve her. Just the thought of his dear wife made his feet walk the path back home. There were the base of his boat was standing and waiting for him to finish her. He let his hand slide by the side. The wood feeling cold at his touch. Feeling it slowly before he rested his forehead against it. Closing his eyes. He was already excited to see it in open sea. He was too excited and needed to calm himself down, for now was not jet the time.

The thought of trying to finish it before the fjord froze did pass his mind. But, he did not want to rush it. And then somewhere within there was still the fair that it would not work. That his creation would not be as he imagined it. That it would not be what Björn needed. He sighed sliding his hand down against the wood again, before he suddenly let it go and moved back, looking over it again. Soon turning on his heal and walking towards his home. ”Helga!” He called out as he opened the door and walked inside. His grey eyes moved to her and he didn’t lose time making his way to her. ”My dear sweet Helga.” he said as his hands took her head between them and he pressed his forehead against hers. He would chare his excitement with her, he would move it to his wife. As she was here and the boat was not… jet. He let out a light ‘heh.’ As he smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. Before he pulled back. ”I might still be able to finish the boat before winter Helga.” The hesitation to do it and the fear he would fail from just some minutes ago had already disappeared. He wanted to do it, for himself. Just to see how well she would do it. But then the thought of winter creeped up. The smile disappearing slightly as he looked at Helga as if he was displeased about something. ”Though we will have to wait till spring to set her to sail.” Now he wasn’t sure what to do… Maybe he should ask Björn what he wanted. After all it would be his boat. Though before anyone else…

He took a few steps back and set down, folding his hands together as he thought about it. Soon lifting his hand to look at her. ”What do you think I should do Helga?” before anyone else he would ask her what he should do.

He could finish the boat before winter and then he was sure to make Björn a happy man. He would be happy too. But… he had still the thought that it was a bad idea to finish it before winter. After all it would freeze and his creation would have to wait in lay. Wait till the ice got melted and the waves started to move. Waiting for the fjord to be free once more. He wasn’t sure if he could wait that long. But the need to finish it was high. He wanted to see it so badly, he wanted to go raid again too and if he finished the boats then they would be able to. But still after winter. He looked down and squeezed his folded hands in frustration. He did not know what to do now. Follow his excitement or follow his mind. Always a hard decision.

His attention moved back to Helga though he did not look up. His eyes fixated on his hands as he played with his fingers a bit. Feeling how his woman sat down next to him. He even could feel her worry. She always was wasn’t she? He did feel bad about that, about not being able to give her the life she deserved. He watched and let his hands slip from each other as she took one. Her soft warm hand cupping his so gently. Her voice soon reaching him as he slowly looked up at her. His eyes connecting with hers as he watched in silent. Thinking about it. He had not thought of the gods for this answer. Though he should have. He gave a light nod. ”You’re right Helga.” He let out a light tsk, in a slight amused manner. Finding himself stupid for not having thought about that answer. Though could he bother the gods with such a question? ”I should ask the gods.” Even if it was just for such a simple question. Helga was right he should try, and he knew they would answer him. He slowly looked up at the ceiling, his eyes seeming to see things no one else could. As if he could see the gods sitting up high. ‘Alfather.’ He thought as he closed his eyes. Whispering his little prayer.

But soon enough he turned to Helga. His hands going to her shoulders, his thumbs slightly rubbing her arm. ”Thank you Helga.” He said and smiled, soon giving her a sweet jet slightly rough kiss. Pulling back he looked around. His eyes falling on the waving she had been doing. Like he Helga could create masterpieces as well. He mentioned to it and looked back at her. ”How is it coming along?” He asked as if he already had forgotten all about his worries from just a second ago. He let out a light hum waiting for his love to answer. He was interested in what she did, how she kept herself busy when he wasn’t around, or when he was working on his boats. Though she was always around to help him, he rather have her doing something of her own. Something that made her happy, like visiting her friends in the village. He liked it when she brought news from them as he did not go there on his own that much. Not anymore, not even to visit Ragnarssons. Maybe he should go and visit them again some time, it had been a long time and he would have to report to Björn how the boats were coming along.

He waited patiently for her sweet voice to reach him. Even though he already knew the answer she was going to give him. He liked her voice and just knowing that she felt good in doing what she did. She was always so busy, always working around the house for him. While he was out building boats. Really Helga did everything, he would be nothing without her. He wouldn’t have the time he had now to build his boats as he would have to do so many things next to that. He was sure he would often even forget to eat, not wanting to lose his precious time. But now, because of her he didn’t have to worry about all those things. Always there to take care of him. Even in the worst times. What did he not do to her. Thing she did not deserve. Just like when he was caged in the cave. She had held up a bowl to prevent the water drops to slash into his head. Keeping the pain away for him as she suffered. He still had not thanked her properly for it. But then… How could he ever repay her? He did not know and even the gods had not answered that question jet. So he would wait, wait and see what time would bring. Maybe one day he would get an answer.

He watched how she stood walking up to her weaving. ”It is good for now.” Of course it would be good if she did it. ”The wool I used is very soft.” He liked that idea, would make sleeping so much more comfortable. ”Hopefully this will keep us warm during winter.” His eyes locked with hers when she looked at him. That sweet smile coming towards him. He could see how proud she was of her work and she should be. He let out a light smile as well and a light laugh. She was not doubting herself was she? Right after the laugh a he let out a nod. Saying with a sure voice ”Oh it will.” He took a light pause. ”It will.” He was sure it would, after all when they were together, they didn’t need the wool even. They would keep each other warm.

His smile faded with hers as she seemed to have some kind of thought coming to her. And as soon as the words left her lips he let out a very light breath. ”What did the Gods say, Floki?” His gaze moved downwards. What had they said, he wasn’t completely sure but… ”Will you go visit Björn?” He indeed thought of doing that. And he did think it was what the gods wanted him to do. He moved his gaze upwards to her again. ”I will.” He said with a nod. He did think about it, and he would get the answer of Björn. After all, it were his boats. So he would make him decide and in that way he believed it would be what the gods wanted as well. Just like Ragnar, Björn was blessed by the gods He knew this well. He would go but…

”Will you come with me Helga?” He asked as he locked his eyes with hers. Soon standing up and smiling as he shrugged in a playful way with his shoulders. Soon his arms warped around her as he pulled her closer. Looking up as if he was thinking. Though he knew well what he was going to say. ”I’m sure that little ironside would be thrilled to see you again as well.” They had both known Björn and all of them since they were little. They all were fond of his sweet Helga, he knew this. And it had been a while. Also he did not feel like going alone. He wanted her by his side. As always.

A lot had happened in the years… Those many long years they already had lived. Had felt love and pain. Hate and friendship… All those good friends they had seen die. Lost them to betrayal or to war. Lost one as a sacrifice for the gods. A place Floki would have taken if Helga had not stopped him and by now he was thankful for it. After all these years there had been times he thought he would not make it. And here he was standing with his love in his arms as she smiled towards him. And he could see there and then in her eyes that she would agree to come with him to the Ragnarson’s. Yeah there had been a time he even thought of them as traitors. Thinking they had betrayed him for what he had done. And h had not seen anything wrong in what he had done. He had only killed a stupid Christian. Why did he have to be punished for that? Christians did not belong here, spoiling their soil and putting strange and stupid thoughts in people minds. And their god… Looked more like a slayed lam than anything else. But he had been punished.. By Ragnar… And that time he did think he would lose everything. Even Helga, but she stayed by his side as always.

And even Ragnar he had not lost, though his dear friend had disappeared. He knew in his heart that he was still alive. If it wasn’t in this world… he would be feasting in the halls with the gods. He might join him soon or late who knew. The thought he had got interrupted by his sweet wives voice. ”Of course I will come with you, Floki.” As she moved her hand to his cheek. He frowned just slightly seeing her smile fade away. ”I miss them too.” She said. Yes… it had been too long. And as they didn’t exactly live to close to the village, they rarely went there or got visitors. Ivar did come by once in a while. Funny how that the one who had most difficulty to come here always seemed to find some time to come. While the others who had perfectly capable legs seemed to forget about the old silly couple by the fjord.

He let out a laugh pressing his fore head against hers. ”Then we will make sure to be there when he returns.” As now Björn was gone sailing of to an unknown destination. Who knew how long he would be away? But… The light in his eyes seemed to get more bright. As he now had the answer. He had to make sure to finish the boats before Björn was back! As it could be his welcoming’s gift! wouldn’t that be great! At the sudden thought he thanked the gods and picked up Helga. As he twirled around, keeping her up in the air. He knew the answer!

He placed her down moving back to the door, holding out his hand as if he was reaching out for something. Before he looked back at Helga. ”I know what to do Helga!” Why did he not think of this before? He let out a smile as he made a little jump of excitement. Looking back outside at his boat. He would finish them so he could show Björn ironside something when he returned. So they both could show him something and if they went raiding… Oh. He would go, go see those places again. Go kill Christians and take their gold. Destroy their whole places in the name of the gods. He did hope Helga would come with him too. After all he needed her. Without her he was nothing. He would not be Floki. He let out another laugh. ‘Thihi.’ As he shrugged happy, turning back inside. Looking at Helga. Maybe they could even sail it into the docks the moment the boy arrived. Wouldn’t that be a sight a great welcome? He surely thought so and he knew that his love would agree. But he would not build anymore today. He would sit with his love, cook maybe. ”What do you want to eat tonight Helga?” He felt in the mood for a feast. ”We should celebrate.” He said letting his wife know what he was thinking exactly.

He wanted to celebrate, celebrate the idea he had. The thoughts that had come to him so suddenly. Why had he even worried in the first place? He should have thought about the gods first. Just like Helga had done. He was lucky to have his lovely wife to remind him all about them. He could get so lost in his own head. Get so tired of other people. He could swing from one place to another in just a second and still know exactly what he was talking about or doing. He knew of himself that he was a complicated man. Not many people got him. Understood what he was saying or doing. What he meant when he spoke. There weren’t many actually that really were listening to him. Just like the people seemed to slowly let go of their beloved gods. Only going back to them when it suited them. It was disgusting and he had already thought of doing something about it. But then he knew the gods could take care of it themselves and that they would let out their wrath against those who weren’t really believers.

He was however still a strong believer and he was lucky to have found Helga. Who believed just as much and who after all. Even when he switched from one thought to another always listened and knew what he spoke off. Even know. He could see it in her eyes, the smile on her lips. She understood. As she spoke of how Björn would be happy to see both of them. He wasn’t sure about that, who knew what little Ironside was doing right now. Maybe he would return as a whole different man. The world was full of surprises. Maybe when Björn came back he didn’t even have any need for the boats anymore. If he even returned. After all he had been away from a long time before. Camping in the wild and even fighting with a bear. A dance of death he was sure, and who knew if he had meant to return? Maybe it had only been to protect his dear mother.

”Will you build the boats now?” She asked and his eyes returned to her. Smiling as he warped an arm around her shoulder pulling her closer. ”I will Helga, I will.” And it would be the greatest. Something everyone would be happy about, but of course he the most. After his little rampage and with the happiness and excitement he felt about this light that had been shed upon him he felt like celebrating it. Of course not with something big. He didn’t need other people to come as well. Just him and Helga. Through the night, side by side. They could eat something, maybe a bit more than usual just because he felt like it. And then… They would get through the night to the next morning. That was really all he needed.

”I will let you choose. I will eat whatever you want to.” As usual his wife was too pure to be true. Placing herself out of the way again for him. Even if it was something small as food. She was doing it and it was these small things that showed her love for him. Though he sometimes would wish she put her damn self-first. Dared to be more bold towards him. She was just too damn good. He had told her before maybe even hurt her with his words. But he had only said the truth. The truth of him own mind and eyes. ”I am happy that you found your answer, Floki.” She gave him a gentle kiss. One only she could give and he smiled back at her. Seeing how truly happy she was that he got his answer. All because of her.

But Floki did not return on the subject however. His mind going back to the food as he let out a hum and then turned to the fire sitting down. Staring into the fire and folding his hands together. ”I feel like eating rabbit.” It was simple enough but had a great taste and there were still some running around in the woods. He looked back at Helga. ”I will go on a hunt.” So he could provide them of the meal and maybe somewhere in between he could make a small offering to the gods as well. Thank them for their answers. But he would only go if Helga wanted him to. After all there were other things to eat, he did not have to leave to go out for a hunt. He realised that but then, his mind was set. It was hard to chance once it had been set.

As he thought his lovely wife of course agreed on his idea to have rabbit. He did feel like it, he liked it a lot too. It was not to big nor t festive but also something they didn’t eat every day. After all here close to the woods there weren’t too much running around. Especially not now that winter was coming up. There were a lot of birds though and he mostly took one of those to bring with him. Though there were always a lot of choices for them to make when it came to what to eat. The woods were full of food, that the gods provided for them. They were lucky that they could live out here and not in the village. On free accords non the less. He liked it here, close to the trees. The one’s he used to make his boats. Close to the fjord where there always was something to do. Being able to watch the water ripple and freeze. Being able to dream of journeys far beyond his point of view. Just being able to be alone with his wife. Just the two of them, that was all he needed. He smiled back at her as she gave him one of her sweetest smiles. Before reminding him to leave out an offering to the gods as she cupped his cheeks with her sweet small hands. ”I will Helga, I will.” He said before giving her a sweet kiss. Then in less than a second he had already grabbed his axe and bow, moving towards the door. ”I will be back soon Helga.” He said looking back at her. Before letting out a smile and then quickly walking out. Towards the wood where the pray would be waiting.

~Time skip~

As he had said his hunting trip had not taken too long. After all having lived here for all those years he knew where and when to find that what he wanted to find. So finding some rabbits wasn’t too hard for the old snake. In fact he had taken longer in doing his offering for the gods then he had done on the hunt itself. He had praised them and thanked them for the answer. But also for all the other blessings they had given him as he had been reminded of them. Now he was walking back to the home with two rabbits on his waist. They weren’t as fat as in summer naturally but for him and Helga these should be more than enough. Either way he did have what he wanted and so he was in an even better mood. He had a very light smile on his lips as he walked back inside. Not saying a word to Helga though. She knew he was back she could see that with her own eyes, there was no need for him to announce it.
He placed his axe down same with the bow and arrows as he then walked close to the fire and sat down on the table. Taking the rabbits from his waist and placing them on the table as he took a knife. Ready to peel of the fur and skin. They had no need for that. It was then that he spoke again.

”I found two good one’s Helga.” Clearly speaking about the prey he had brought. They weren’t as fat no, but still held some good meat on their bones. That seemed promising for this coming winter. He looked back at her and smiled. As he cut through one of the bellies. Just to take out all the organs that they did not need. They could feet them to the animals outside. He then started to peel of bit and bit of the skin. That Helga could use for clothes once it was dry. If she wanted to of course. She would need more then too but well more would be coming he was sure. He looked back at her as he ripped the last piece of skin of. Leaving a naked stripped bunny to lay on the table. ”How do you want them Helga?” They could be cooked, grilled, even made into a soup they could eat with some bread…

He was happy with the two little animals he had found and could hunt down. It would make for a good simple but festive dinner as they both would be able to enjoy it. He was sure of it. And he could hear in Helga’s voice that she was happy too. That was really all he wanted her to be. As he so often thought he did not deserve her and that she could have a much more better life somewhere else then with him. But she did stick with him and by now he did not know what he would do if he ever lost her. He prayed to the gods often that they would not let him see that day. That he would be the first they would take from this world. For Helga was a part of him, almost all of him. If he lost her, then he lost himself and there would be no Floki left. But he did not think of that often as he had learned to enjoy the days he did get. With her at his side. And if they had to go. He did hope they could both leave this world together. Side by side. The way they lived. That was really all he would ask for when he left this wold. But who knew when that would happen. All he knew that it would not happen tonight and that for today he would present them with a good healthy juicy meal.

Her compliment made him look at her as he gave her a smile. ”Of course I did great.” He said jokingly. Ashe then concentrated back on the two animals in front of him. He nodded in agreement when she suggested they could make soup. He liked that idea as he knew it would keep them warm and fill their stomachs quickly. With a nice piece of bread. He would be very happy with that. He smiled as he felt himself relax. ”That is a great idea Helga.” But then she always knew what to do in the right moment. He watched her as she started to prepare the water. Using different herbs to flavour it. He let out a small laugh as his wife seemed so concentrated on what she was doing. As she did that he starts cutting the meat from the bones the best he could. Throwing the bones somewhere, where he could still find them later. He could use those to build some small things. He would never just throw them away. He could also throw them out however to give to the sneaking animals in the woods. That way they would leave them alone and they did not have to worry.

He stood up soon as Helga told him he could put the meat in whenever he wanted. He took it up and walked to the pot. As he then let it slide from his hands into the boiling water. Making sure that it did not splash up to high so that neither of them would be burned. After he did that he turned around with a clear questioning look on his face. Quite serious as if he was thinking of something and so he was. He soon took two bowls, and some bread as he then walked back to Helga and sat down next to her. Close to the fire and the soup that they were making. The smell of it already making him hungry and excited for the meal. He took the bread and ripped it in two after he placed the bowls down in front of them. He then placed one piece on Helga’s lap. The other he kept himself. As he wait for the meat to be ready. For it all to be ready. As soon as he knew it was he took up the bowls and held him out for Helga. So she could fill them. Before taking one himself and ripping up some bread. Looking at the bowl and closing his eyes. Thanking the gods one’s more for the meal they were given. Before he looked at Helga. ”I love you Helga.” As random as it came once more. He said those words. For he was happy in this moment. Felt blessed once more.