Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva]

Subject: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva] Thu Jan 11, 2018 1:26 pm

Her father always told her to crush herbs before using them. Ase didn't know much about herbs out of the wild but the things she did remember she had to thank her father for. She sat crouched down in the forest, pulling out some winter hard herbs before crushing them in a bowl. The silence embraced her, just as the cold did. She took a deep breath, looking around as she remembered all the things she used to do here with her father. Her sister was a carpenter, she spend a lot of time making new things bus Ase ... she was an outside person, even when it was this cold. Ever since her father dissapeared with the earl she tried on being a little bit what he wanted her to be. She tried on listening to the gods more, she tried to work with herbs, hunt, make a living. It was the only way she could honor him, by remembering the little things he learned her.

When Ase got back home she sat down before the fire, her cheeks flushed red from the cold, her fingers stiff. The dancing flames gazed her eyes down until Ellie walked over, the firm brownish cat seated herself aside her feet and Ase looked with a smile down, pushing her cold fingers in the thick fur of the car. She had still so much to do but the warming heat of the fire kept her on her place. Ellie didn't helped much, the cat jumped into her lap, all curled down, ready to take a nap. So Ase leaned back ... enjoying one of the most amazing moments on a day, quiet moments like this. She was a lot different then her sister but in her own special, just as the gods all created them to be.

Ase walked throught the snow over to one of the storage sheds, all compounded with hay and food to come through the winter. Normally a lot of people where here but given it was already rather late there was nobody to see. Ase always felt uncomfortable when she was alone somewhere, it was still light outside but the silence followed her into the shed as she pushed the door open. The door cracked and she frooze on the soft sob she heard. She didn't move, listening carefully to what sounded like somebody was crying ... here, all alone. She wanted to step outside, afraid to disturb whatever stuggle the person was going through. It was funny in a way ... Ase came here to when her father dissapeared, crying or just sitting in the silence, the smell of hay and food, the loneliness. So maybe that was why she was still standing there, because it was so familiar.

Inkeri

love, libby

Subject: Re: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva] Thu Jan 11, 2018 4:42 pm

Things had been going rather slowly. There was still a day until the wedding ,and the days felt like weeks to Ylva. Before she knew it she was going to be married and sharing her bed with someone she really didn't want to be sharing it with. Kettil was a good person, the more they spoke and the less she fared him, and the more she liked him as a person. However that didn't means he wanted to be forced into his bed by his older brother. It just meant she was not going to be horrible to him like she had wanted to do before. He was way to kind of a person to be mean and rude to. Kettil was just as stuck here as she was, and for that she felt bad for him. That he had lived his whole life in the dark of how his own brother had really been. She wondered how he could be so blind to it all when he had two perfectly working eyes, but maybe it was just easy for him to be blind to it. Then to see how his brother really was. From what she had understood from when the two of them were fighting, their father had been also very horrible to them. For Kettil asked Gerolf if he wanted to be like their father had been. It made Ylva glad that their father was dead, for if he was maybe worse then Gerolf, then she would never make it out of this hell alive.

Kettil had been rather good to her, letting her explore and feel things on her own a bit. Wanting her close, but not making her be in his face all the time.He kept her close so Gerolf would not be able to speak to her on his own or touch her. Something she was grateful for, because she was so scared he would change his mind about promising to never touch her again, and he would do something horrible to her. Kettil had taken her to the farm area again, and told her she could walk around a bit. So she did, and ended up getting a little turned around and lost rather quickly. It just reminded her who weak and open she was in this new place. She did not know it as well as she had known her home, Skagen. So now lost and on her own she found a little building to enter, to see if it would help her find Kettil, or maybe even help her get away. Not that she was sure she could do that to Kettil, what would his brother do to him if she was suddenly gone? She didn't want him to die because of her running away, and where would she go. The people of this village could all be horrible or worse then Gerolf.

When she got inside she realized she was alone for the first time since she had met Kettil, and it made her feel all kinds of strange things. Ylva felt relaxed, scared, mad, sad, and every other emotion anther the stars that she could feel a this moment, and it made the tears come back. The ones she had been holding off on since Gerolf and Kettil got into the fight when Gerolf gave her to him. Sinking down onto her knees she allowed herself to have a good sob for a long time before she heard someone else coming into the building she had found. "Just give me a moment Kettil" she says to him first, assuming that he was the only person who would be here at the moment. "I got lost, and then I don't know...everything kind of hit me again...that this is really happening, and that I can't get around on my own...that you have to take care of me...that we are trapped because of that monster." she says to him next, still so unaware that the person she was talking to was not Kettil.

Taking a big breath she rubs her eyes and turns towards the person she believed was kettil. "I just want to leave, and for this to not be happening to us. I want to go to Kattegat...never mind...I'm sorry I got lost and you had to look for me." she says next shaking her head. She is afraid that if Gerolf found out about Ivar, he would try to hurt him as well. That he would go to Kattegat and kill Ivar or something horrible like that. So she had know reason to run away to there if she ever got the chance. Still rubbing her eyes she waits for the person she thinks is Kettil to say something, because normally he would have by now. Always so nice and kind to her, he would have tried to comfort her or something with his words.

Subject: Re: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva] Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:31 am

Ase always felt discomfort, when she stepped into situations like this because she never knew what to do, stay, run away, talk, do nothing. Since the dead of her mother she changed a lot, not that open promising girl anymore that wanted to follow into the footsteps of her elder sister. Ase became very into herself, believing that for every cause there was a reason. Her believe got stronger and her words became more quiet. You didn’t saw her often, if it wasn’t for Inkeri a lot of people would think the girl didn’t exist. She lived a very simple live here on the countryside, surrounded by the wild life, the flowers, the animals and the silence. For her market places were one of her fears she needed to conquer but never showed. Ase could be around people, it just turned out to get very awkward on moment. For that Inkeri mostly did the things in the village while Ase stayed behind, tending whatever there was to tend at home.

But here she stood, reminding herself of the few times she sat here herself, on a bale of hay thinking about all the good in life, asking herself why the gods would did this. The girl, the sobbing … it didn’t had to be a similar situation, yet, there was no explanation why somebody would come here to cry if it were tears out of joy. Ase wanted to step back but the girl started talking and she slowly turned her head in the direction. She saw part of a dress, but the girl was around the corner so Ase couldn’t see her. Kettil? The farm boy? Ase noticed the tension with the boy, she didn’t know him that well to ask but it didn’t needed a good pair set of eyes to notice. Monster … Ase slowly walked into the shed, her arms crossed before her chest until she had a visual on the girl. And the first thing she saw was blindness and for some reason Ase relaxed a little.

The girl went on, talking about monsters and Kattegat, a well know place by everybody. ‘I’m not,’ she felt silent, stepping back, feeling like she was an intruder on her tears. ‘I’m sorry.’ He apologized, slowly walking backwards to the shed door. She looked to the ground, stopping while looking back over her shoulder. It wasn’t that she wanted to go, it just felt like the girl needed to be alone. Still, Ase wanted to give advice for some reason. ‘There is no explanation for why the gods do the things they do,’ she said softly, her tone compassioned but quiet. ‘just know they have there reasons.’ She shrugged softly, turning her gaze back outside to leave the girl so she could be alone.

Inkeri

love, libby

Subject: Re: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva] Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:26 pm

Ylva was still waiting for Kettil to say something, he was being so quiet to her. Part of his quiet was starting to make her worry that it wasn't Kettil and actually Gerolf. Worried that she just called Gerolf a monster to his face for the first time, and now he was being quiet because he was thinking about the way he was going to hurt her for even thinking about talking about him in that way. It that was the cases he was never going to get out of here and to Kettil. He would only find what was left of her when Gerolf was done. However the voice she heard next was not Gerolf, or Kettil. It was clearly the voice of a woman, and she heard them say ‘I’m not,’ to her first. So she had been talking to someone else entirely. If it had been another man she would have been very scared right now, but it was a women. For some reason, she wasn't sure why, it brought her a little comfort.‘I’m sorry.’ she heard the women say to her next, and Ylva realized that this was a safe person as well. It just brought her more comfort, until she realized if she spoke to her like she wanted to, if she asked for help, she would just be endangering her. Ylva didn't want to put anyone else in danger, no matter how desperate she was to get away and get back to Kattegat and back to Ivar.

She had stopped talking to listen, and her tears had slowed down a bit as well. She listened as the Women seemed to be trying to leave. She understood why she would want to, who would want to talk to a crying blind girl who was too weak to be able to run away. ‘There is no explanation for why the gods do the things they do,’ she hears the women say to her next, and this makes Ylva bite her lip. She understood that. The gods did what they wanted and they always had their reasons. She hoped whatever it was that made her be here, and why she kept getting more and more dreams, would make more sense to her soon. However she knew it was all for their reasons. ‘just know they have there reasons.’ she hears the women say once more, and this makes Ylva speak out for some reason. "Wait," she says to her first as she rubs her eyes to will away the tears. "Please don't go.." she says to her next. This could very well all be a trap, but at least she tired to do something, and didn't let fear rule her. She would stop being weak, and get stronger like Ivar told her to do.

Taking a deep breath she takes a step toward the women. "I know...that the gods have their reasons, but I wish I understood more why they were doing this." she says to her first before making herself be brave. "Before I go on I must know if you are someone save, if I can maybe trust you...a stranger." she says to her before lowering her head. This was risky, buy a risk she was willing to take. "Do...do you know who I am? for if not then maybe you are safe." she decides to ask. If she knew who she was, then she was friends with the brothers, and there for most likely not save for her to be around. Someone who could maybe hurt her like Gerolf, maybe she was his women. She had no idea, she couldn't see anything but darkness.

Subject: Re: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva] Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:14 am

Ase felt like she stepped out of line by speaking up, interfering with another her grief or problems. It wasn’t Ase to do so, she hardly talked much, she wouldn’t stay in this situation for very long but here it kind of was demanded? Because she recognized it so much. So the words came out before she even thought about them, biting her own lip while she did it. Her hand found the wooden shed door and her fingers clamped around the wood while she decided the best way in all of this was just to leave, let the girl deal with her problems in her way, like Ase did it herself all the time. But not all people were so withdrawn like Ase and she realized that when the girl stopped her from moving away. She looked down to the ground before slowly looking back up to the girl asking her not to leave. ‘I don’t want to intrude on,’ her words lost their purpose and she fell silent again, not moving away from the door. Like usual she always wanted an escape out.

Ase looks as she stands up, turning fully towards her, taking a step closer. Ase took a soft breath, looking slowly to the girl her face, seeing blindness while it stood there. Life wasn’t easy, for nobody, but it could be cruelest to the best. When she started talking again Ase looked a little away from the girl. ‘Understanding comes with time.’ She replied softly to the words. She hardly understood something herself from the Gods, but with time … everything got a explanation. When the girl went on Ase frowned her eyebrows a little, wanting to talk but not finding the words. ‘No.’ She answered on the question. She didn’t knew who this girl was, she only knew the name she spoke before, Kettil and even that was a vague memory. ‘I live in a farm a little south of here, I’m not much of an,’ she felt silence and shook her head. ‘I don’t know you, I don’t know many people.’ She decided to say. She scrapped her voice a little, softly closing the door behind her, leaning against it. ‘I’m Ase, I live with my sister.’ Why she said it she didn’t know, she just said it.

Ylva

love, libby

Subject: Re: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva] Sat Feb 10, 2018 10:00 pm

Ylva was very nervous to find out the person she had been talking to was a stranger in this little shed and not Kettil. What if this was some kind of test and this person was going to hurt her. She wouldn't put it past Gerolf to do something like that. It seemed like everything was a game to that man. That people and their lives were his to control. However she was praying to the gods, begging them to be giving her someone safe and not a person who planed to make her life even harder. However Ylva decided to be brave and ask the person to not go, and to wait. The other person, a women, made comments about the gods, and while Ylva agreed she made her own comments in return. ‘Understanding comes with time.’ she hears the women says to her first. Ylva hates it, but she is sure that is true. That at some point she will know why the gods were doing this to her. What they were trying to accomplish from doing this to her? Ylva hoped the answers would come soon, and that she could be free of here soon, that she could get to Ivar like she had been wanting to do since she had left him in the first place. "Time is not something I am sure I even have..." she says softly.

Being brave, and maybe even stupid she asks the women if she was safe and if she knew who she was. ‘No.’ had been the women's first answer and while Ylva felt a little more comfortable hearing that, she was not stupid and would wait to hear more before she was going to just trust this person. ‘I live in a farm a little south of here, I’m not much of an,’ she hears her say next and Ylva waits for her to go on, for she knows there is more to be said. ‘I don’t know you, I don’t know many people.’ The women adds in and Ylva lets out a large breath she had no idea she had been holding. Good, that meant she maybe finally had someone who was safe here to talk to. However did she really want to tell her things and endanger her as well. What if Gerolf found out she talked to this person and then he killed her. She would hate herself if that was what happened. ‘I’m Ase, I live with my sister.’ the women, Ase, added in last. Ylva nodded her head and took a few deep breaths before making up her mind.

Taking another step forward she decided to talk to this person. "I pray to the gods that you really are who you say you are Ase..." she says to her first before crossing her arms over her chest. "My name is Ylva...and I am from Skagen." she says to her first. Her names are already starting to shake with how nervous she was to be even doing this. "Gerolf...is an evil man...he killed my family and kidnapped me...he plans to marry me to his brother.." she says to her and Ylva's breathing gets a little more intense. "But you can't say anything to anyone, he would hurt you...he would kill you too...I shouldn't even be talking to you....gods I could be endangering you..." she says Ase next as she turns away a bit and looks to the side. "I just can't handle this all. I want to get away, but Kettil said we can't run...and I can't just leave, I can't see...and he would kill Kettil I'm sure." she says next. Running her hands over her face. Trying her best not to loss it here in front of this other person.

"Maybe it would be best you leave, I don't want you to get hurt just for hearing me cry...I'm sure I'll be crying a lit more in the coming days...as I'm forced into marriage and a marriage bed..." she says next as she starts to cry again. Thinking about the coming wedding and all the things that were going to happen after. Theses were the kinds of things she wished she had the answers for now. What good was going to come from making her marry and bed some man she didn't want to be with. She wanted Ivar, she wanted to leave. Why couldn't they just let her have a few things of what she wanted. Why were they making her suffer even more then she already had in her life.

Subject: Re: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva] Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:16 pm

Time … she spoke about time she never had or never would have in the future. Ase always found a way to deepen the ways of living, the words that had been spoken. As the girl talked about time she would never have Ase thought about the moment here and now. This was time, but maybe not the time she needed. For many women life wasn’t like they wanted it … Ase was lucky, she wasn’t chained to a men, yes she lost her parents. As she stood there she looked over to the blind girl. ‘As long as you breath you have time.’ She said softly, more to herself. Ase always used all her time good, but maybe that girl wasn’t so lucky, maybe she wasn’t all that happy … would explain her crying here on the spot Ase often cried herself.

The tensing that came out in a large breath made Ase her eyebrows go a little up. Was she so happy to know Ase didn’t know her or her situation? In her mind it only stated the obvious, that she had a story she rather not has people knowing about. Ase didn’t know why she introduced herself but she did, still standing in the doorway as her eyes rested on the blind girl, still cautious but in a way prepared to listen.

Her eyes lower a little as the person places a step forward, saying that she hoped she would speak the truth. ‘I never much appreciated the idea behind lying.’ She shrugged softly, pointing out she wouldn’t catch Ase on a lie. Certainly not over her own identity. Ylva … Ase softly smiled, a small one but a smile all the same. Not that Ylva would see it but still. But that smile faded quickly as Ylva began to get nervous, something that directly set on Ase herself. Her eyes went shortly out of the door into the open before the words pulled her eyes back. The first name … Gerolf pulls some recognition up in Ase, she heard about that name. But all what comes behind just frightens her even more. She was in danger now? She could get hurt, killed? For talking to her. Ase looks away, over her shoulder outside as she rather stopped the conversation and go back home then staying here. ‘Are you lightly in endangering others?’ Was her first reaction to all of it. Her voice was unsure, a hint of fear reflecting her own insecurity. But then a second name comes over her lips … Kettil, she knew Kettil. ‘Kettil is a good person.’ Ase reacted, not knowing why she said it in the first place. This girl, Ylva, wasn’t from here, she didn’t know the people, she just was a piece in a long tradition in which women were the weakest. Ase sees how much it cost Ylva to stay in control and it a way she feels sorry, compassioned.

As Ylva says she maybe need to leave Ase nodded. ‘Maybe I should.’ She says, turning her body around to step back out. But she stops into the first step, looking back over her shoulder. ‘There is no shame in crying, or in having somebody to cry to. If nobody knows your story, why start telling it. If it keeps you and others safe, why even starting.’ She forced a smile on her face, stepping over the wooden entrance before stopping again. ‘I won’t tell.’ She whispered, looking to the blind girl, not knowing if leaving really is the best option.

Ylva

love, libby

Subject: Re: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva] Thu Mar 15, 2018 3:58 pm

when Ylva heard the other women say ‘As long as you breath you have time.’ to her she wondered if the other women would feel the same in her shoes. If she was places in this time of situation would it be so easy and simply to say as long as you are alive you have time? Ylva wasn't sure, but at the same time she knew that the other women was right. She had time, and should could maybe get away from this all. Only if it was the gods will of course, but she still had time. Maybe she could still get away from here, but she would need to take Kettil with her. She wouldn't leave that man here to be punished. However she wasn't even sure if he was strong enough to run away with her even if she begged him to. Kettil was still so controlled by his brother, something she was sure had happened his entire life. So she did her best to give him the benefit of this was hard for him. He had no idea how horrible his brother was, and he had made that very clear to her so far. So if she could force herself to be strong like the women in front of her, if she could convince herself that she had time just like the women said, she could think of something to get away. She could think of a way to make things work and get back to Ivar before it was too late.

deciding to be brave she asked Ase if she was someone she could trust. ‘I never much appreciated the idea behind lying.’ was what the other women had said in return. Ylva could respect that, she never liked lying to people as well. So so went through with it and told the women her story. ‘Are you lightly in endangering others?’ had been what Ase had said to her first. Making the air freeze in her lungs, she wasn't trying to endanger anyone. She was just trying to talk to someone, to maybe get help. She really would never want someone to get hurt because of her."No...I wasn't..." she whispers mostly to herself. ‘Kettil is a good person.’ she hears the other women say to her next, and she knew that. If he wasn't he would have hurt her already. "I know." is all she says to her in return as she is feeling guilty about even sharing in the first place. She should have just set the women away before when she realized it she wasn't Kettil.

Are went on to say ‘Maybe I should.’ to her saying she should maybe go. She listened to the steps of the other women before she heard her stop and say ‘There is no shame in crying, or in having somebody to cry to. If nobody knows your story, why start telling it. If it keeps you and others safe, why even starting.’ to her next. That she should keep her story to herself so others aren't put in danger. Ylva said nothing to her. Just bit her lip and stayed silent ‘I won’t tell.’ she heard the other women say next before she stepped out and left."Thank you..." was all she said to the empty space back. Ylva just stood there in a mixture of shock, embarrassment, and a feeling of being crushed. She had messed up in doing this, and it was clear that she was not going to get any help from outsider. Ylva would have to keep this to herself, she wouldn't tell Kettil she had this conversation with Ase. She also wouldn't open up and tell anyone else. It proved to be pointless anyways, she was going to have figure this out on her own. Taking a deep breath she gathered herself up, and made her way out toward the exit so she could go and find Kettil. She didn't need him to worry she ran away, not that she would get far on her own.

Subject: Re: Tears are a sign of the gods [Ylva]

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