A walk in darkness [open]

Ylva had awoken like did everyday of her life, to the dark blackness that consumed her. The blackness that kepted her from seeing all the beautiful colors that her father tried so desperately to her when she was a girl. Until she screamed at him to stop and he never brought it up again. As she swung her legs to the edge of the bed and sat up she felt her dog nuzzle her hand."Good morning Hálogi" she said to him as she felt around for the rope. Grabbing it and making it into the main room of the hut, only to be greeted by the slave that was to take care of her this morning. "Good morning Ylva, lets get you ready for the day" Runa, the slave said before grabbing her arm and leading her to back to her room. Ylva didn't say anything and just let the women move her around. She sat in silence like she did most everyday. What was there to say? She was sorry that they had to brush her hair dress her and help feed her everyday? She was sorry she was a waste of space and maybe her father should have killed her so they didn't have to do this for her? No she couldn't say anything like that, or her father would become angry with her and punish her. He didn't go easy on her punishments because she was blind ether.

Once Runa was done she said "There you look very beautiful and ready for the day" to her before taking her arm and leading her to the table for some food. "Thank you" was all she would ever say to that comment. People would call her beautiful, but how was she to know if that was true or not? She could be so very disgusting to look at and people just said that to be nice. "What shall you do today?" she heard the slave ask as she handed her a spoon and guided her hand to the bowl. Ylva took a few bites of food before answering her "I think I'll go to the shoreline today" she said as she got ready to be told that she couldn't and that it was far to dangerous for her. However she was surprised when all she heard was a hum back. Maybe her last episode of yelling at a different slave that she wasn't crippled as well as blind was enough for them to stop trying to tell her what to do.

When she finished her food she simply pushed back from the table and felt around on for the rope again seeing as Hálogi was laying at her feet. Once she found it she said " Come boy lets go" to him before she felt him slowly lead he out of the hut and down the path into the village. Most people didn't talk to her, and if they did they were ether three way. People who would baby her,people who would be rude, or something in the middle of the two. Most people thought she was useless in her village. She couldn't do anything to help build, and a lot of the women thought she would never marry. Ylva thought that way as well. Who would want a wife that they would have to take extra care of, even if she really was beautiful like they said. Men wanted wives that could cook and clean and take care of their children. Not a wife that she would be.

When she was close to the shoreline she could heard the waves crashing onto the sand, the birds in the sky, and some people by the water. She always loves this part of the village most. She could feel the sand on her feel, shells sometimes mixed in. There were also so many sounds, so many pictures painted into her mind as she would make things up in her mind. Ylva didn't mean to be as cold and bitter as she was, deep down she just wanted to learn and explore the world. Meet new people and feel new things. People however had made her bitter, made her hate herself and the way she was. People were always quick to point out what she couldn't do and not what she could do instead. So she became closed off, and distant to most people. So they couldn't hurt her more than she had already been hurt. Maybe someday she would meet people would accept her, maybe she would find a husband, but until then she would protect herself and her heart.

Reaching the water finally she kicked off her shoes and picked them up in her free hand before walking a little deeper into it. Stopping until it reached her knees and she could feel the strength of it crash around her.She had left Hálogi just behind her in the sand, in case she needed him he would be close.

Ylva was still standing in the water enjoying the sounds of the waves crashing against her legs and on the sand when she heard barking coming from further down the beach. Someone else must have had a dog out, and she just assumed it was one of the dogs that belonged to a Skagen villager, and not one of Halfdan's people. Skagen people knew to not let their dogs near Hálogi because he would not play with them when she was around. Hálogi was trained to give her his full attention at all times when he could see her. If Ylva was not around, he could play as much as he wanted to. So because she assumed it was a villagers dogs she didn't pay the barking much mind.  She just continued to move about in the waves until she heard the barking right behind her. Who ever this other dog belonged to, it was definitely not someone who knew who she was. "Hálogi" she called, but the waves and barking were too loud for him to hear her.

She started to move out of the water when she heard a whistle sounds coming somewhere to her left,and then the barking had stopped for a moment. Maybe the dogs owner finally got control of it and got it away from her dog. Ylva was started slowly trying to make her out of the water when the barking started again. This time the barking was all around her. Ylva was starting to panic at the events that were unfolding. Being blind she had no idea what was going on, was the dog going to attack her, or was it just trying to play with her? Reaching her hand out in front of her she tried to shoo it away from her. It was too late too shoo it however as she felt the dog knock her down and into the water.

Even more panic took over her body as she pushed the dog away and tried her best not to drown to death in the water. What a way to die, knocked over by a dog into the water because she was a useless blind girl. Trashing about as hard and rough as she could. Ylva finally got her way onto the sand. "Hálogi" She called horsely before her dog came over to her and helped pull her the rest of the way out. "Hello, whoevers dog that just attacked me almost killed me!" she screamed before pushing herself into a siting position. Her shoes were now also gone, and she was soaked to the bone. Her father was going to scream at her so loudly tonight when she got back home. "I know I'm the useless blind girl, but I don't think I deserve to drown thank you very much" she said when no one had spoken yet. She knew the dog and its owner were still very much right there. So why the hell hadn't they said something yet.

Ylva was beyond pissed off about what had just happened to her. Some stupid dog had knocked her down and she was drenched. The owner also sounded like a real bitch. saying things like ”And trust me, if he wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t even had the time to crawl back to shore.” to her about her dog. That was just so great  to hear, that the damn dog could have killed her. However it hadn't, it just knocked her down and almost drowned her in the sea. No freaking big deal right? She was about to say something to the women when she heard the women talk first ”Look at that self-pity.” she said. This only pissed Ylva off more. No shit she was going to feel self-pity. She had almost died while she was enjoying herself. She had no way of knowing this was going to happen to herself. She was just trying to enjoy the ocean and sounds around her. Ylva opened her mouth ready to give the women a pice of her mind when she was beaten to the punch once again. ”If you’re so useless as you say, you might have better drowned back there.” The women had said to her.

Ylva felt her hands moving into fists. She had wanted to hit people before, but in the moment she was actually thinking about doing it. Thinking about stepping forward and trying to wack the rude women. Using her own words against her. Ylva was mad, and spoke out of anger. Yes a bug part of her thought she was useless, but to hear someone else say it made the situation worse. For someone to say well if you think you are useless and others do too, why dont you do us all a favor and go drown yourself like my dog almost did to you. "Listen here lady" was all she got out before the women spoke again”I would have helped you up, but I guess blind girls can’t be friendly either? to her. This for some reason gave her pause. It made the fists at her sides slowly fall before she took a deep breath. Trying to calm herself before she did something stupid and really did die. This women had to be one of Halfdan's men. She had never heard this womens voice around the village before. So she had to be new, so maybe she hadn't known about Ylva's condition.

No one would know from just looking at her. You have to see her eyes to know she is blind. The light blue white color always gave it way. Always changed the way conversations had went as soon as people saw she was different. " Look, I'm just really pissed off right now." she said before taking a step away from the water more, closer to the women. " I never assume anyone in this village would help me. Most of the time in the past they don't" she said as she reached down and started to ring out some of the water from her dress. " Minus a few choice people, most would have let me drown in the water. So excuse me for assuming you would be the same. Seeing as it was your dogs fault I was in the water to begin with." She said before letting out a annoyed breath. She didn't want to hit the women anymore, besides that would have been dumb anyways.

To hit someone when you cant see to defend yourself would be beyond foolish. " But thanks I guess for thinking about helping fix what your animal caused. Thats better then most I suppose." she said before crossing her arms over her chest. Taking a deep breath she decided to ask who the women was. "Who are you anyways?" she wondered if she would know who she was by the name. There was a lot of talk about Halfdan's men in the village. At least when most of them weren't around. Maybe it was someone dangerous and she should keep her mouth shut.

Ylva let out a small sigh when she heard the women speak. . ”If you hadn’t lost your balance, you wouldn’t have fallen at all. So if you think about it that way, it isn’t Sköll’s fault. Why do you come here in the first place if you aren’t steady on your feet? You seem to know well enough that most people won’t help you when you fall down. So why risk it all for....This?” was what she had said. What was the lady's problem Ylva was starting to wonder. She had lost her balance because she hadn't been able to see the dog in the first place. She hadn't been able to get ready to defend herself from the attack. Plus why did she care as to why she risked herself coming down to the water. Ylva wasn't going to stop herself from doing something she loved because it was dangerous, and she certainly wouldn't stop because people wouldn't help her. She had been doing a lot of things alone for a long time. So why would she try and relay on anyone but herself and a select few people who had shown her kindness." I like the ocean,I like it down here, its worth the risk to me. And I didn't simply loose my balance. The dog surprised me..." was all she said about the matter. For in Ylva's mind it was worth it. Maybe she had lost her balance, and the lady was right.

Ylva was startled when she heard the women say "No" after she had thanked her for saying she would have helped. Before Ylva could say anything the women spoke again ”Your arms. You shouldn’t cross them.”This of course confused Ylva, why did she care if she crossed her arms? She found out quickly as she felt herself being pushed over, and she would have called down onto the ground again if the women hadn't grabbed her. ”See. Your balance is horrible. If it was not for me you would have hit the ground even before you were able to catch yourself.” was what the women said next after she steadied her and then released her. Ylva was annoyed again, but for a different time this time. She was annoyed that this women was right. That she had been able to simple push her, and she would have fallen. No one had ever taken the time to help her get better balance, was it something someone helped you with? Ylva wasn't honestly sure. She was simply left to do what she wanted most days. Her father made sure there was food twice a day, and that her trusted dog could bring her home when she was done doing whatever it was she did everyday.

The women spoke again to answer her question of who she was ”Somebody who strongly advises you not to run before you can walk.” was what she said first, a saying that confused Ylva until she realized she was saying Ylva shouldn't being doing things she couldn't. ”But you can call me Hlíf.” was what she had finished with. "Hlíf...your one of Halfdan's people. I am Ylva Halorsdóttir...I'm sure you know who my father is." she said before taking a deep breath. She knew Hlíf would know him for he was a former Radningar for the old Earl. One who refused to help Halfdan's people and allowed himself to be classified as a viking again too.Her father had been very loyal to the old Earl and didn't trust Halfdan's men at all. Ylva often worried he would get them killed with with outright dislike of Halfdan, but so far they hadn't tried to do anything against them. " And I guess you are right, I am easily knocked over..." she said before turning her head away. Sure it was simply for affect, but she didn't like admitting that she was weak unless she had to. " Father said I don't need to be strong.. that I'll have a husband to take care of me someday...so i never bothered to try" she said with another sign. At least she didn't find this women, Hlíf, as annoying and rude as she did before.

Ylva bit her lip when she heard her say ”I promise you there will be many more surprises in your life. And after all those surprises you will remember that the one where Sköll bumped into you wasn’t the worst one.” to her. She was sure that this woman was right. That she was going to have so many surprises in her life, and ones that would end up being worse that a dog almost drowning her in the ocean. With how her father wanted things to go, she was sure she was going to have so many surprises. Like who her husband would be, and how they would treat her. However she felt the need to keep quite. To not let the women in front of her know that she was well aware that she was right. Maybe it was Ylva's stubbornness seeping out, or it was the way that they met that made her not want to agree. Or maybe it was the fear that her statement brought. The fear of the the events to come in her life. Speaking broke her out of her mindless thinking ”But who am I to judge? As long as you are happy, right? For as long as it takes.” Ylva found herself signing at this.

Taking a deep breath she decided to speak.  " I'm sure you are more than correct in what you say, I have little to no say in what happens in my life, my father will marry me to the first man who wants me and that will be that. So I'm sure I will get many worse surprises than almost being drown by your dog" she said before turning her head away from Hlíf. She was sure she came off rude, but she didn't mean to, not really. She was just getting upset the more she thought about it. She meant what she said, she had no say in anything in her life. And that was heartbreaking to say the least. That she wouldn't pick her own husband, that no one wanted her, that every moment of every day she was reminded that she was crippled,broken, and unwanted by all. It made her bitter, and angry. It made her the way she was. So untrusting and unhappy. Something that showed in almost everything she did. . ”This is just the way life works.” she heard Hilf say next. She just hummed that she agreed.

It was weird that she found herself liking this strange women, a person who worked with Halfdan, and who was apart of the people who made her life so much more different. She seemed to be hard and rough, but for some reason she was getting the vibe that she cared a little bit. Something that confused Ylva, maybe she was reading Hilf wrongly, she had just met her. ”I indeed know who your father is. A strong man. Loyal too. A little bit too loyal.” Ylva heard her say next. She wasn't sure what to say to that, but she knew she needed to reply. " He was great friends with the our old Earl.." she said at first before pausing. "And you much earn loyalty. That is something I am sure you know. she said next. ”Then your father is not only strong and loyal, but also stupid.” Ylva heard Hilf say in return to her saying her father didn't want her to no how to fight. She simply bit her lip at this. Ylva thought her father stupid all the time, but was wise enough not to say so. If it got back to him she would be punished.

”No woman should be depending from a man. The only one you should depend on is yourself.”Hilf said next. quickly adding”You should be able to take care of yourself, in any way and from any one. Because in the end it is everybody for himself.” Ylva knew she was right, but what could she do? She couldn't see for god sake. How in the world did she think she was going to be able to defend herself? ”Have you ever wielded a weapon? Except for a butter knife?” Hilf spoke again. Interrupting her thoughts once more. I've held a sword once..but father quickly took it from me, punishing me afterwords. Like I said before I tired, but fathers punishments are enough to make any smart person not do it again." she said before hugging her body. It might be stupid to be telling this women all this. She could report it back to Halfdan and her father could be punished, or even killed. Hell they could just kill her for being a useless member of the village. " I would like to learn, to keep your fellow men from pushing me around, but I feel its useless. I can't see. Father said I would be an easy kill for a child. So how could I take on a man?" she asked Hilf.