Sleipnir | Freyr

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

Right after dawn, one of the servants had knocked on his door to wake him. The same ritual, every morning, so he could go to the stables while the village was waking up. As soon as he had heard the knock, he almost jumped out of bed. Even at this time he was still full of energy, knowing he would be at the stables soon, away from the village. He was not quite used to the fact he now had to be present most of the time, even after two years. He loved the feeling of freedom when he could go to the stables and hang out with Kettil. The older man now felt different towards him, acting weird sometimes, even if he had said he should just treat him like he had before countless times.

After a quick breakfast he had strapped on his sword and left the wooden barricade behind him. Just in time he arrived to see how Kettil was walking six horses as if he was guiding them with an invisible rope. Freyr had stopped by the fence, leaning on it as he took in the scene. He tried not to make any noise, he even held his breath for a second to make sure he didn’t disturb the moment. When Kettil released the horses into the meadow, he ducked under the fence to join him in the field. ”Morning Kettil”, He said with a broad smile, visibly delighted to be here, even in the early morning.

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

The fury some of the stallions displayed, could be rather scary to someone who didn’t know how to behave around horses. But Kettil was leaning against the fence in a quite relaxed stance. He was not scared, since he would notice every slight change in the behaviour of the horses. He was sure they would not come for him, and that was a sign for Freyr to approach him. While Kettil was an expert in reading horses, he could read people. As long as Kettil wasn’t alarmed by the animals, he wasn’t scared either. His sudden appearance made the young man almost jump up out of surprise. He had been unaware of his spectator, so it seemed.

’Good morning.’ He greeted back when he had found his voice again. And then he bowed his head a little bit. Something Freyr had never asked from his friend. ’I wasn’t expecting you.’ He then said. ”How could you not?” He grinned. ”This is by far my favourite place to be”, He continued with a softer smile. ’You want to visit the wolves today?’ The man then asked, looking at his sword. Now he had mentioned it, he gripped his hand around the handle. ”It was an idea of my mother. I can get used to the weight so now I’m just carrying it around every time I leave the house”, He replied. ”But if you want to go visit the wolves then we should go”, He said with a challenging tone in his voice. He had never visited the grounds where the pack lived, his father said it was way too dangerous for a boy his age. But if Kettil could escort him.. It wouldn’t be a problem, right?

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

Sometimes he sure wished things had stayed the same as they were two years ago. The responsibilities he had as prince also brought worries and difficulties. Every day there were new challenges. He missed the freedom he had as a stable boy. How careless he had been. How easy life was back then. But the boy kept looking forward, not back. He still enjoyed being at the stables more than anything else, and luckily his parents allowed him to visit them regularly. If it fitted in his program of the day, that was. Something Kettil knew as well. ’I just thought you had other plans on a day like this.’ He replied to his words. Freyr chuckled softly. ”That’s why I came early, so I can fulfil my duties later today”, He reacted with a little wink.

Kettil made a comment about his sword. It had been a gift from his parents, when he had started his training. Now he was simply carrying it around to get used to having it on his side at all times. Or to fight some wolves with. When he mentioned it, the older man started to laugh. ’I don’t think you are ready for that yet.’ He said, and Freyr nodded in agreement, a sheepish smile on his lips. ”I think you’re right”, He chuckled. ’And when you want to visit the wolves, only to test your sword, I am not willing to come.’ Kettil then said. ’Unless you command me.’ He said teasingly, giving him a soft push with the halters. ”Don’t worry friend, I will not command you to do something you’re scared of”, He grinned back, not planning on going easy on him today.

’So Freyr, since you're here, what do you want to do?’ The man then asked, while one of the horses curiously inspected his sword. A bit absent-minded he scratched the stallion on his neck. ”I am here to help you with whatever you need help with”, He then said with a smile. It could be simple tasks, but it would keep his mind busy and he would actually enjoy it. He simply yearned to do something that felt like a habit. ”Or we could go for a ride, if you have time for that”, He then proposed. For him it was all the same, as long as he could spend some time doing something he loved with a friend he held dear.

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

Fighting a wolf was indeed not something he was ready for right now. Maybe he would never be. He wasn’t even ready to fight a real opponent yet. He practised on wooden dummies, or his mentor would teach him defensive positions with a wooden stick to poke him when he dropped his shield too low. His body was adjusting to his new lifestyle, which left him with sore muscles every night. But he made progress. He could train a bit longer each day, so he would be able to go into battle one day in the future. He wanted nothing more than to serve his parents and make them proud.

Kettil was also not that fond of going to visit the wolves today. Freyr couldn’t help but tease him a bit, although he regretted it moments later. ’If that is what you want to think, be my guest.’ The young man began to speak. ’But now you say so. I think I still remember something about a little boy almost wetting his pants when he heard a horse whinny for the first time.’ He continued, and he already knew this story was about him. ’Don’t you remember that by any chance, Freyr?’ He then asked. The prince tried to keep a straight face, but the corners of his mouth were pulling up a bit. ”I do not recall such thing”, He said, although he was lying. In the end he couldn’t keep his laughter to himself.

All jokes aside, it was time for some action. He offered his help with whatever, he didn’t mind doing the tasks he used to do. But he also proposed to go for a ride. He knew Kettil could train the horses, but going for a ride outside the paddock was not permitted. Only when the earl or the countess would join him. Or their son, for that matter, which was exactly his plan. ’I will make time.’ The man agreed. He handed over one of the halters. ’Go ahead, you choose first.’ He encouraged him. ”Thank you”, He said with a smile. It was not because he was lower in rank he would disrespect him. Even though Kettil didn’t see it that way anymore, Freyr still considered him as one of his best friends.

The boy walked over to the small herd, slowly, but with confidence. He kept the halter out of sight, a bit behind his back. Rather than walking up to them head on, he approached them from the side. Ofcourse they noticed him right away, and they started to play the little game they always played when they had to get to work. They started running around, hiding behind each other. He had set his mind on one of the smaller horses, although they seemed equally large from afar. Even though they seemed to be playful again, they also started looking at him curiously. He knew the timing was right, and without making eye contact, he walked up to his horse of choice.

Softly speaking to the stallion, he put his hand on his shoulder and petted him for a bit. The horse turned his head towards him, waiting for what Freyr would do next. Luckily they were well trained, so he stood still. The boy put the halter around his head and clicked the rope on the ring. He then rewarded the horse, after which he lead him away from the group. Kettil would probably do it twice as fast, but then again, he was the expert and Freyr only an expert in training.

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

Why did it feel like ages ago since he first had visited the stables? It was only a couple of years, he was probably around thirteen years old. But time was passing by so fast. Since his father had taken over, he had to grow up so fast he felt like he skipped his youth. And he was only sixteen. In the middle of his youth, so to speak. Did Kettil experience it in the same way or did it feel different when you were older? The coup must have had quite an impact on the stable boy too. Not in a way that he had lost his job, but things had changed for sure. Sometimes change was necessary. Change could be good. For him and his family it had changed for the better. He was granted opportunities he wouldn’t have had when he was still just the son of two warriors.

One thing that had not changed, was his love for nature and his love for horses. And their behaviour towards him hadn’t changed either. For them he was still a silly human walking around and occasionally sitting on their backs. Today he had chosen to take a ride on Helhest, one of the smaller horses in the herd. When he walked back, he saw how Kettil was smiling. ’Thank you.’ He said, and Freyr looked at him with confusion. What did the older man thank him for? And then he realised why, the horses had followed Helhest and now catching a horse would be much easier for the boy than it had been for him.

Kettil decided to pick Skygge, after which he opened the gate of the pasture. Freyr walked out first, and the gate was closed again before any of the other horses could escape. He saw Kettil bind Skygge to a wooden pole and walk inside the building. In the meantime he tied his own horse up too, and decided to talk to him for a bit while waiting for the stable boy to come back. Softly he whispered his secrets, his deepest fears and his greatest wishes, only to get silence in return. But getting them off his chest felt way better than not telling anyone at all.

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

There were days where he would pick the company of an animal right over the company of humans. He himself hadn't experienced betrayel in his life, yet. But he had seen it all around him. People had their own dreams and aspirations. Some would do everything to achieve those. Even if it meant hurting the ones that picked them up and dragged them along in the proces. An animal would be loyal no matter what. Or that was what Freyr liked to believe. Kettil, on the other hand, had come outside to burst his little bubble. ’I would watch out with what you tell him.’ He warned him. ’They spread word in the herd, you know.’ He continued, while dropping the equipment in the grass. ’And eventually it’ll reach my ears.’ He then chuckled. Freyr rolled his eyes dramatically. "There is no way you can talk with the horses", He said, but with a hardly notable, unsure tone in his voice. Maybe.. Maybe he could? But that was impossible, right?

It kept him busy while he was preparing Helhest for the trip they were about to make. He brushed him quickly but thoroughly, as Kettil had shown him a hundred times before. He then proceeded to put the saddle on his back and the bridle around his head. They finished at almost the same time. ’You want to try some of your sword techniques while on a horseback? Or what did you have in mind?’ The stable boy asked. "Oh please no, my arms are still sore from yesterday's training", He said with a grin. "Let's just go for a ride through the fields.. And avoid the wolf territory", He suggested, while giving the older man a wink.

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

The stable boy’s reaction made him doubt his own words again. It seemed like he wasn’t even sure himself if he could talk with the horses or not. Oh well, even if Kettil knew one or two of his secrets, he trusted the older man with them. He wouldn’t be the one to admit to him he was scared of his future, scared of the man he would have to become to follow in the footsteps of his father. He wouldn’t dare to admit that out loud. But maybe, deep down, the stable boy already knew. Maybe he was onto him, the true reason why he still visited the stables. It was true, he loved being here. He loved being around the stables, working with the horses, chilling out with Kettil. But it was also a way to escape the pressure from time to time.

That’s why he didn’t want to do anything remotely related to fighting or ruling or being in command at this point. Although he would probably want to have some control over his horse later on, if he didn’t want to be thrown off. And his muscles were stiff from swinging his sword and holding up the heavy shield all day yesterday. Luckily, Kettil agreed. ”Deal.” He said with a nod. He mounted Skygge, and Freyr did the same with Helhest. He made himself as comfortable as possible in the saddle, but he would never have the same ease as Kettil had. It was as if the boy had a natural instinct for it, a gift from the Gods so he could connect with the horses like they were one.

The pass was set, and after sitting a bit wobbly, he gained back his confidence. He always needed a few minutes to get used to the rhythm of the horse. But now he was just fine. ”How is your sword training going?” The man suddenly asked. ”Your father must have high expectations from you.” He then implied. Freyr was visibly startled by the question. ”Training is going well, as far as I know. I feel like I’m getting better”, He said with a smile. He shouldn’t doubt himself. His mentor had nothing but good comments on his work. ”My father is a great leader and an excellent warrior. He expects the same from me. If I work hard, I’ll get there, eventually”, He continued, choosing his words carefully. His father had never been hard on him verbally. He had never expressed his expectations, or mentioned he was unhappy with the efforts his son displayed. So as long as he didn’t correct him on anything, he just assumed he was doing quite alright.

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

Even though he had spent a lot of time around horses, he was still aware of the fact they could suddenly do something that might get him hurt or even killed. He wasn’t as confident around them as Kettil was. He had some experience with reading their body language, but he was still careful. He knew it was important to trust his tall companion, but he was still delivered to his mercy if he decided to buck or go for a run. The first few minutes he was a bit wary, but after a short time he adjusted his mindset, and he managed to relax. It was quiet out here, and where they would normally break the silence with endless chatter, no words were exchanged. He had a hard time figuring out a subject to talk about, and luckily Kettil saved him from picking anything awkward. He wanted to talk about his training, and that was fine. ”Your muscles have grown in the past few weeks. Everybody is talking about it.” The man said with a soft laugh. "Honestly I trained muscles I didn't even know I had", He joked back. The first few weeks he had been stiff from all the intense training.

”You will, Freyr. You are a quick learner. And you are lucky with a father like yours.” Kettil commented on his carefully phrased reply. The boy smiled warmly at him. He was glad the man at least could still give him a compliment. Suddenly his smile turned into a frown again though. Skygge reacted weirdly to something Kettil did. ”I am sorry.” He softly excused himself. Before he could ask what was wrong, the man suggested they would go for a real ride now. "You bet I am", He said with a grin, pushing back his questions. Clearly, Kettil didn't want to talk about it. So he readjusted the grip on his reins and encouraged Helhest to pick up his pace once more. He gave him some more freedom to stretch his neck, and the horse picked up the hint. He ran off like an arrow shot from a bow, and Freyr couldn’t keep back a scream of excitement when he was taking the lead for a second. He knew Kettil would probably catch up quickly, but for now he enjoyed being first for a while.

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

Normally he would enjoy a slow-paced walk with the horses. It would give the two time to catch up on whatever they wanted to talk about. But now it felt awkward and weird. As if every subject would only emphasise the gap between them. It would push Kettil further away, so he decided not to bring up anything. But the silence was weird as well. When the stable boy suggested to go for a run, he happily accepted right away. He was eager to see if Helhest was still this speed monster he used to be. Bred for speed and endurance. He barely needed to encourage him. The horse picked up the hints fairly easily and he just darted away. The wind was playing with his hair, and his heart rate went way up. The adrenaline was rushing, as he let the horse pretty much do his own thing. Aside from little corrections to keep him in the right direction, he just let him run wild for a while. Behind him, he heard the familiar thuds of Skygge and Kettil following them.

It took a bit longer than he’d expected, but eventually the other caught up. He then heard the man shout some instructions. Freyr watched as Kettil set the example. He tried to follow it as similar as he could. He too crossed the reins and pushed them down a bit. He immediately felt more supported and steady while sitting in this new position. ”Just like that!” The man smiled, and he couldn’t contain his laughter. This was just as the old days, and he enjoyed every second of it. The horses were more contained now as well, keeping their legs under their body instead of stretching them all the way. They were running up a gentle hill now, and when they reached the top, they had a nice view over the plains. In the distance, there was a herd of wild horses grazing peacefully. He held back Helhest for a second, in awe because of the view. ”One day, I’ll catch one of those”, He shared his dream with his friend. He was happy he was allowed to ride his father’s horses, but having one of his own.. That had to be extra special.

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

Having fun without anyone expecting anything from him, was the best feeling in the world. For once, he could just enjoy himself and not feel any pressure to achieve a certain goal. No pressure. It was rare these days. In fact, he should do stuff like this more often. Maybe he could talk to his parents about it. If he could relax a bit, from time to time, it might improve his focus and performance on days he had to train. For now, he didn’t worry about it though. At this moment, he was free as a bird. It also felt like he could connect to Kettil a bit more. Their friendship had started over their common love for horses, and going back to their roots sure had a positive impact on the boy. He hoped Kettil would feel the same way. He didn’t want the man to think they were not equals. To the horses, ranks didn’t matter either. So why would it matter to him? He valued their friendship, he couldn’t imagine how boring his life would be if he hadn’t met the stable boy. He had also learned quite a lot from him, which he appreciated as well.

Because, with the knowledge he had passed down, he would one day try to catch and tame a wild horse. If it hadn’t been for his friend, he wouldn’t even know how to ride. And now, one day, he would ride one of the stallions from the herd they were watching now. Or so he hoped. ”I think that would be like a dream coming true.” Kettil replied, and he hummed in agreement. ”Are you planning on riding it into battle, one day?” The man then asked. Freyr frowned for a second. ”I don’t know. I would be scared it would get hurt or even killed”, He confessed. He wouldn’t want his father’s horses to die in battle either, but at least they were trained properly. They wouldn’t panic as easy as a wild horse, right?

what is left but war?

when hell seems one step closer than heaven

Catching a wild horse was another goal he wanted to accomplish. For once it was one that didn’t involve fighting. But Kettil still managed to turn the conversation towards the subject again. Probably without even realising himself. It had to be a norseman thing. Battle was always in the back of their minds. It was their nature, they were almost born just because they could go to war when they came of age. Kettil was lucky, in a way, that he was just a stable boy. He would never have to go on a raid. Even though he knew it was a way to gather riches and gain a reputation, it also scared him. Not because he was scared to die. He was afraid that he would never be as good as his parents. Their fame reached far beyond Skagerrak and the expectation that he would have to do the same one day, was sometimes too much for the young boy.

It seemed like his friends had more personal conflict than he had ever shown to him. Now he could understand his behaviour a little bit better. ”I really hope all your dreams come true, Freyr, whatever they may be. And if I can be of any help in them, please let me know. Then I would at least mean something to someone.” His last words gave him a strange feeling in his stomach. With a soft tap of his heel he made Hellhest take a step forward. The horse stretched his neck to sniff at Skygge, while Freyr extended his arm and grabbed Kettil’s shoulder firmly. ”You already mean something to me Kettil. Don’t say such things. You’re worth more than you even realise”, He said, with a tone that didn’t allow protest. ”You don’t need to prove yourself in any way”, He continued, after which he now patted the man’s shoulder playfully, to clear the air a bit again.

what is left but war?