But in all chaos, there is calculation [Halfdan]

Freyja had had a lot on her mind lately. She didn’t like it one bit. She knew all the things running through her head all day long were distracting her from her work and it was becoming increasingly irritating for the shipbuilder. Regardless of what had happened with Sofie and the earl; regardless of the feelings she was finally beginning to acknowledge for the first time; regardless of the constant worrying about her sisters now that Halfdan had their names in his head, Freyja was too much of a perfectionist when it came to her job to be okay with anything other than completely focused on the task at hand. Additionally, she had an apprentice now, and how could she teach Aleinn how to be quick and efficient at his job if she was too distracted to do hers properly?

Luckily, Aleinn was a quick study, and she’d given him instructions for the day so he could work without her for the most part. When she got like this, it was usually in her best interest to work alone and have the chance to just got lost in her tasks and not have to constantly stop and start over and over again.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t at the carving stage of the ship they were working on, which would’ve made it far easier for her to get absorbed and lost in her work for the afternoon, but hammering the planks together was certainly giving her plenty of opportunity to get some of her frustration out. She worked straight through the lunch break everyone else took, not wanting another reason to stop and get distracted by her intrusive thoughts. Working silently, methodically, when she finally finished, she didn’t even know how much time had passed, but she could feel the heat of the sun on her back and arms, and while her tanned skin wouldn’t show the sunburn she’d develop, she knew she’d feel it shortly, once she got away from the shipyard and the wind and spray from the ocean weren’t perpetually keeping her cool.

Finally stepping away from her work, Freyja decided to take a quick break to catch her breath and almost immediately the intrusive thoughts returned. She was thankful Sofie had gone to Kattegat with Haskell, Hakon and Henrik, and had honestly been tempted to pack bags for her other three sisters and shove them aboard the ship too, to get them all out of Skagen. For now she was just hoping that with Sofie now Haskell’s perpetual shadow, everyone would forget what had happened and things would quickly return to normal. She could really use some normal right now.

Freyja wasn’t planning on pausing for very long. She knew she should check on Aleinn and make sure everything was running smoothly, and maybe get some food in her belly before getting right back at it. For her, when she was stressed or worried or nervous, nothing helped clear her head and get her mind off of things like a little hard work. It might not be the healthiest of coping mechanisms, but it was certainly productive for her.

However, before she’d even taken a step away to go and find her apprentice, she flinched when someone else had snuck up on her, and as soon as she realized who it was, her stomach clenched and her eyes widened and just about every thought flew right out of her mind. Except that she should have anticipated this. Sofie had told her she’d come up in their conversation but Freyja had never considered herself to be particularly interesting and had been more worried for Sofie and the rest of her sisters than she had been for herself. She assumed if she kept her head down and stayed out of trouble, Halfdan would continue to ignore her the way he had for the last five years. Clearly, she’d miscalculated.

Trying to get a hold of herself quickly, Freyja straightened up and finally met his eyes, feeling utterly unsure of herself. A feeling she was unfamiliar with, and one she didn’t like in the least. She was doing her best to calm the panic she could feel starting to rise because he’d just called her beautiful and also said something about her hiding, but that had to be a joke, right? Shipbuilders didn’t hide at the docks. That’s just where they worked. Also, was he taunting her by calling her beautiful? Or was he being serious right now? She didn’t know and therefore, she didn’t know how to react.

Her instincts kicked in when her mind blanked, and before she really thought about what she was saying, the corners of her mouth tipped into the barest hint of a smile, before she answered him. “I wouldn’t really know, but if I see any, I’ll be sure to tell you.” Hopefully he appreciated self-deprecating humor because it was her go-to when she was feeling uncomfortable, and she was fairly certain she was in for an extremely uncomfortable afternoon.

The nervousness she was feeling had encompassed her entire body, and Freyja had to resist the urge to clench her fists, because she knew it was only a matter of time before her hands started to shake. But clenching her fists would immediately give her away and her mind was in self-preservation mode, which meant giving herself away as absolutely terrified was not something she could do right now. Trying to appear as calm as possible, and also hide the inevitable shaky hands, Freyja fidgeted just a bit, pushing her blonde hair over her shoulder before crossing her arms over her chest.

“What- um,” she cleared her throat quickly and started over, “Was there something you… needed from me?” She knew from the things she’d heard about him, that treading carefully was going to be important if she didn’t want things to go south, and quickly. And that was going to be hard for her. Freyja knew herself well enough to know that she was the sort of person who talked first, and thought about it after. And that would probably not end well for her right now, when it came to the man in front of her.

When Freyja heard Halfdan chuckle, it was an unnerving sound, and she had to make an incredible effort not to narrow her eyes at him. Glaring at the earl would not go over well, she imagined, so that was a reaction she couldn’t allow herself to have. But she hated bullies, and someone who laughed when making others uncomfortable certainly fit the title. In fact, his entire demeanor simultaneously terrified and irritated her. As far as she could tell, for someone who expected his people to be loyal to him, he clearly preferred having people fear him than actually inspiring loyalty of any kind. But these sort of thoughts were not at all welcome, while standing face to face with him.

She couldn’t really tell how he took her comment. He seemed to smile, but his tone didn’t exactly sound approving. Plus, a smile from him wasn’t likely to reassure her in any way. He pointed at her and mentioned he found her attractive again and Freyja just didn’t know what to do with that information. He wasn’t trying to hide that he was staring at her and for the first time in her life, Freyja wished she wore dresses instead of trousers and a tunic. At least a dress would give her a bit more coverage. But she’d never really worn them, and trying to build ships in a dress was simply illogical.

Should she thank him? Technically he was paying her a compliment? Unless he wasn’t being serious, and was actually making fun of her, in which case thanking him would make her look even more foolish than she probably already did. But would ignoring the comment make him angry? She really didn’t know. Freyja honestly found herself wishing she’d paid more attention to him over the years, so she’d have a better idea of him and his mannerisms. “You’re very… direct.” Which was something she normally appreciated in people, but he wasn’t like Hakon or Haskell; Someone she could roll her eyes at and shove a bit when she didn’t know how else to properly react. “But, um... thank you?” Was that an appropriate response? She didn't even know. He had called her beautiful twice now, after all.

After she asked him if he needed her for something, he came over to stand beside her, which she cared for even less, especially the way he looked her up and down. She stiffened when he mentioned Sofie. Obviously she’d known this was all happening because of what had happened with Sofie. But she’d also been hoping he’d get over all of that fairly quickly, especially with her not in Skagen at the moment. It seemed that was not the case at all. He started to say something but stopped and changed direction. And when he asked what she thought of the situation Sofie had gotten herself into, she couldn’t help but sigh softly.

“I think she needs to grow up,” she answered immediately, because it was the truth. Freyja hadn’t actually realized exactly how out of hand Sofie and her pranking had become until recently. She’d been preoccupied over the last few years, and had left her sisters to their own devices. Luckily three of them knew how to keep out of trouble, but Sofie…

“Though, I think… some of it might be my fault.” She wasn’t entirely sure why she’d added that, but it was the truth. If she’d paid more attention to her sisters after their father died, she might’ve been able to address Sofie’s nonsense sooner. If she’d tried to help them decide what they wanted to with their lives instead of just letting them sort it all out for themselves, Sofie might’ve been a little less aimless. Also, it had kind of been her idea for her sister to challenge Freydis in the first place. Of course, Sofie hadn’t gone about it the way Freyja had suggested, and Freyja had never once considered Sofie would actually win. But still, she had suggested it. If nothing else, Freyja had no trouble taking responsibility for her actions or admitting when she’d made a mistake.

The longer she spent in Halfdan’s company, the less worried and more irritated Freyja became. It was probably not the most logical or intelligent reaction, she knew. But she really didn’t appreciate his demeanor at all. He had to know what he was doing, right? That between his reputation and behavior, he scared people? Did he enjoy scaring people? Or was he simply trying to weed out the timid people around him? Regardless of his reasoning, Freyja found herself growing more and more frustrated, which wasn’t a good thing. She was likely to do or say something she would regret if she couldn’t keep herself in check.

He laughed at her comment about being direct. Apparently she wasn’t the first person to tell him so. She couldn’t help the small smile that creeped onto her lips at that. She’d been told by multiple people that she was far too blunt for her own good. But that didn’t stop her from wishing he’d be a bit more direct and just tell her what he was doing there. All of this tiptoeing around him was killing her.

She was watching him closely, especially when he turned back to the ship she was building. Keeping her eyes on his face, she wondered what he was thinking. If he made some dismissive or sarcastic comment about her work, or because she was a woman, she’d probably turn around and walk away. She couldn’t hit him for being rude, which would be her first instinct, but she could leave. However, it looked to her like he was simply surveying her work for the moment. “There’s a finished one over there,” she mentioned, gesturing towards the last ship she’d finished, that wasn’t too far away. “If you'd like a closer look,” she finished with a shrug. Halfdan was the Earl, after all. His opinion on her work carried quite a lot of weight.

When he looked her up and down again after she thanked him, the grin on his face was not at all a reassuring sight but she discovered she was almost… expecting it now? After everything Sofie had told her about him, and the looks he’d already sent her way, it was far less unnerving than it would have been earlier.

Though the way he quickly agreed with her assessment, that Sofie needed to grow up, wasn’t comforting. He wasn’t smirking at her now, and she wasn’t sure but she thought this very serious Halfdan was more worrying. But he wasn’t wrong; Sofie did need to grow up. And Freyja thought it was likely this experience would at least have her sister heading in the right direction. But the level of Halfdan’s involvement still concerned her.

It felt weird to be having a seemingly normal conversation about her sister with this man, but Freyja couldn’t help but nod in agreement at his words. “She doesn’t always think things through,” she answered, and knew that was an unfortunate trait she and Sofie shared. “That might also be my fault,” she muttered softly.

When he tried to figure out why she was blaming herself for Sofie’s actions, Freyja shook her head at his first guess, smiling slightly. Before she could answer, he guessed again and took a step closer and Freyja straightened up just a bit before nodding briefly. “It was her idea, but I may have encouraged it. Though I did tell her to talk to Haskell about it first. He’s not likely to say no to a training exercise.” Which is exactly what she’d told Sofie when she’d made the suggestion. “And I never thought she’d win,” she admitted reluctantly. While she knew Sofie was a good fighter, the idea that she could really beat a fully trained shield maiden as a frú had honestly not once crossed her mind. She assumed, under Haskell’s supervision, Sofie could hold her own for long enough to get a few decent hits in before anything serious happened. But obviously that was not how it had gone down.

However, all thoughts of Sofie and Freydis fled her mind when Halfdan mentioned that Haskell had told him about her. And then he reached out to run a finger along her shoulder and Freyja never dropped her eyes from his face, simply raising an eyebrow at him. She’d already moved past fear and into irritation, and the idea that he'd done this same kind of thing to her little sister was making her angry all over again. “What did Haskell say about me?” she wondered, trying to keep her tone neutral. She assumed the point of touching her was to get some sort of reaction, so she was trying not to give him the satisfaction.